My Story Part II

I haven’t made a new post in several months. For this I apologize and have no true excuse (though I will be making a new post about the best excuse I have – the newest addition to our family) but alas, the story continues… (If you haven’t read part I, please go back and do so before reading this post).

As I became an adult life got very busy very fast. I went to a Christian college several hours away from my friends and family. Along with a full-time course load, I worked a lot of hours to pay my bills every month (determined not to go into debt). I was also drafted into a lot of ministries at the local church which took even more time away. It wasn’t long before I found myself focusing on my studies and my relationship with God so intently that even my lunch hour at work was spent with my nose in a book. Although in the midst of a crowd, I began to feel isolated. I will never forget the day a co-worker gave me a strange look and asked, “Has something happened lately?” I had no idea what they were referring to until they followed it up with, “You’ve lost the spark in your eye when you smile.” I laughed it off, but went back to the dorm still contemplating that question.

“Has something happened?” I hadn’t noticed but yes, something had happened. It wasn’t some big traumatic event. It was several little things on the outside, but a series of changes within. In a matter of months I had gone from cheerful, joyful, and fun to be around, to dreading waking up the next morning and doing my best to avoid all contact with others. I had become so focused on the seriousness of accomplishing the things that had to be done, I began neglecting myself. Instead of taking a 20 or 30 minute shower to relax, it had shortened to only a few minutes. Instead of taking time to laugh and joke with peers, I hid under a blanket with a flashlight trying to study for the next big exam. While others were happily playing volleyball outside, I glanced up from my computer briefly as I finished typing the next essay. Life got hard. And then it got harder…

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